You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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