I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
