sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
