I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
