my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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