I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm determined to sit on that face.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
