When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
