left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
