Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize