okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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