Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
