And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
