I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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