jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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