...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
