just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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