I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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