tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
