woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
