either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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