I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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