It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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