My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
