Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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