its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
