Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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