Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
