Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
