We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
