Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
