She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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