With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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