and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What a dumb baby whore.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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