Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
