i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
