Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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