Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
