Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
