Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
