Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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