3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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