Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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