i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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