it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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