capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
