I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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