i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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