i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
