get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
