You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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