i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
