he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize