I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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