Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize