It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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