absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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