my mouth tastes like poor choices
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
