okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
