plz talk dirty to me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
