She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
