Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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