i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
