I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
