Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
