He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
